Broken Reflections
by mydeira
Summary: Spike and Willow find comfort in each other. Nothing major yet, just started. Feedback welcome. Should I go on?
1. Good Intentions Gone Wonky

Another sign bites the dust. Spike figured he deserved an award of sorts for destroying his, what, fourth "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign. Every time he left Sunnyhell, he swore that he would never return, that is except the last time. He left the last time fully intending to return. He had unfinished business after all.  
  
~*~  
  
It had been four months, eight days, twelve hours, and sixteen minutes since Xander had pulled her back from the brink and she had spent every second of it in silence. Willow knew words would never even begin to come close to making amends for what she had done, so she had said nothing. She could barely even face her friends, let alone speak to them. She rarely left the house, let alone her room, and only then at night. And the place she went was always the same: Tara's grave.  
  
~*~  
  
Who was he kidding? He was a bleeding idiot for ever setting foot back on the Hellmouth after . . . after . . . he couldn't bare to think about it. But that's all he had been thinking about since he had returned from Africa.  
  
And why had he come back after all? Did he enjoy torturing himself by seeing that which he was forever unworthy of? Beneath her he was and always would be. Maybe she would stake him on sight. That would be for the best, wouldn't it? The gig as love's bitch was getting old, but it was really the only gig he had ever known. If he wasn't such a love-sick ponce he'd just end it himself, but then there was a certain amount of satisfaction to be gained at having her do it.  
  
He jumped out of the car and began to wander aimlessly. Drinking had lost its effect months ago, so there was nothing left to numb the pain. He last glimmer of enjoyment gone. And he would not brood. He was not going to be like Peaches and bemoan his fate. If only he hadn't listened to Dru and kept driving that day. Never come to Sunnyhell in the first place, usurp the Annoying One, dance with the Slayer, get reacquainted with Angelus . . .  
  
Spike cringed at the thought of the "love" of most of his un-life. Talk about a stupid git. Sure she had been the first woman to ever take notice and there had been some good times, but, really, the whole crazy-woman thing wasn't really his style. He hadn't minded so much til the mess in Prague when he'd had to exist for them both. And then he had met the Slayer.  
  
He nearly fell over the girl before he realized where he was. She could have been a statue adorning the simple grave she sat by. But what statue had hair the color of living coals, enticing and distancing at the same time. Then he saw the name on the stone. Now all that he had heard made sense.  
  
"She was worth it, Red."  
  
~*~  
  
Willow turned imperceptibly toward the vampire. She had heard him approach, but unlike the other times she heard footsteps, she didn't bolt. She couldn't be here with the rest of them. It was her sanctuary, but only if she was alone. But Spike, she didn't mind so much. Maybe it was the fact that she felt, out of anyone, he could really understand.  
  
"Thank you," she croaked, breaking four plus months of silence.  
  
"May I?" he asked.  
  
She nodded and he sat next to her.  
  
"What a mess, huh?" she smiled after a few minutes of silence.  
  
"Tell me about it, pet?" he smirked. "Ever wonder how good intentions can go so wonky?"  
  
"And how you can lose so much time over doing something so foolish? Something you know will only wind up hurting you in the end, but you do it anyway because it's the only thing you can see to do?"  
  
"Love makes you do the wacky," they mumbled simultaneously. 


	2. Friends in Need

Spike and Willow sat together in companionable silence. It was a nice feeling to know that you weren't being judged, that instead, possibly, you were somewhat understood.  
  
Loathe as he was to do it, Spike had to break the moment. He stood up.  
  
"You're leaving?" Willow asked quietly.  
  
"It's not that I want to, pet. But sunrise being not so far off dictates that I find cover and since I haven't been here in some time-"  
  
"The crypt is still free, Clem's been watching it for you." She caught his look of surprise, "You still have a few friends around."  
  
He smirked. "Few might be an overstatement."  
  
"Better than none," she said noncommittally. "Mind if I walk with you?"  
  
Spike shrugged and began walking, with Willow beside him. Finally, he spoke, "The Scoobies wouldn't desert you, Red."  
  
"Desert me, no. But they treat me like they're afraid . . ." she sighed. "I think I might know how Buffy felt after she came back, both from L.A. and . . ."  
  
Spike couldn't hide the twinge of pain that crossed his face at the mention of the Slayer.  
  
"And you know what they're most afraid of? That I don't regret what I did."  
  
"And you don't." It wasn't a question.  
  
"What would it serve if I was? Aside from helping maintain their illusions of purity and innocence." She caught his startled look. "I've had a lot of time to mull things over, being all non-conversational for over four months. You would think that living on the Hellmouth and all that we have seen and been through that they wouldn't be so blind."  
  
"Blind?" he questioned. He wanted to see how far her insight went.  
  
"Take the 'all-good/all-evil' thing. It exists, but is very rare. They fail to realize that most of us fall in-between somewhere."  
  
Spike snorted. How many times had he tried to get the Slayer to understand that?  
  
"Like Buffy," she echoed his thoughts. "The Chosen One-The Slayer. Girl given powers to serve the good by putting down the evil. But technically, how is she really different from her 'enemy?' The only difference is which side she's on. Faith, in spite of all she did, at least understood that. It's a grey world. Look at you and me: Evil, soulless-vamp and goody-two- shoes, brainy human. Cut and dry which side the other is on, right?"  
  
"Where were you about six months ago, Red?" he smiled, seeing that they were near his crypt.  
  
"Still in a delusion," she smiled back.  
  
Spike looked at the sky. "Guess I should be heading in."  
  
"And I should be getting back before they start looking for me."  
  
They stood there, unsure.  
  
Finally, "Do you mind if I come by sometime?"  
  
"Not so much. But don't feel obligated or anything."  
  
"I like talking with you, Spike. So any obligation is merely selfish."  
  
"Alright then," he said as they went their separate ways.  
  
Willow was nearly out of sight, when she caught a faint, "Thank you." 


End file.
